I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
