you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
