she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
pray to the hookup gods
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
