How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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