You work out of a Hotel?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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