You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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