Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's paint friendship bongs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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