So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
