@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
