Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
