yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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