around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
why is half of my head shaved?
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