Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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