I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
