I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
