areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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