Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
