these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
