since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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