I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
