Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
