normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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