I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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