you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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