You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
