when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We have started to decorate penises.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
