no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
