Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
