Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
