if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
