Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
