If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize