You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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