I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
