I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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