Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize