So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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