Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
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Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
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my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sorry about my life...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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