Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
