Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
