So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Say something about gay babies.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
