I want to stick my p in your. b.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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