just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
