I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
