Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dicks are not precious.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
