dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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