do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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