It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The best revenge is premature balding
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
