Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
