Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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