I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
