This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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