sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
