I swear she didn't look like that last week.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
