..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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