And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
