How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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