How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
this just has baby written all over it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize