I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize