dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
