Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
