You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
do herpes really smell.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
