don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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