he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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